Showing posts with label tattoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tattoo. Show all posts

Monday, 14 October 2013

Appreciation - the highest form of flattery


I've been asked where does my inspiration for my stories come from?

Well, the simple answer is everywhere really. 

I catch interesting snippets as I pass by people, I see strange and unusual happenings that take me aback and make me laugh, I am reminded of my own cock-ups and stuff-ups - of which there are many! many! many! and in my day to day goings-abouts I gather a very rich amount of priceless stuff to include in my stories

I merely have to change the species from human to hare, leave the individual's name out, and blurr over the facts just a teensy little bit

but I am so appreciative of all these incidents that I am part of and privy to and so appreciative of the individuals who have inspired me

so I am hoping that no-one minds if I ever use a bit of an incident that they may have been in, or may have inspired, in one or two of my stories (it's not the first time, I've been writing like this for years, just omitted all the names that would give the game away, and never bothered telling anyone)
and I am hoping that they take this as the nicest form of flattery
as I immortalise them like a god in my story :)


and before you know it, a rather humorous, maybe even slightly flattering story is mustered up....

Mother Hare Tsuru 

One day at kindergarten, when Tsuru was still tiny, she came across an old magazine on the bookshelf in the corner. She’d already been thru all the books, and looked at all the nice pictures and there, on the bottom shelf, nearly hidden under the big books was a tatty old magazine. 
So with some effort Tsuru dragged it out, but the flimsy cover ripped off in the exertion and wafted onto her paws. That wasn’t a problem though, as it was already very old and very well read, and just as she was about to scrumple the cover up and throw it away, something interesting caught her eye.
She flattened out the page on the floor infront of her and gasped in delight as she studied the picture, then declared to herself that yes, she wanted one of those too. 
And with that, she tore a small piece off the page.
As it was allowed in the kindergarten, to tear books and magazines. They were not precious icons not to be harmed and gloated over, but instead to be read and appreciated, enjoyed and shared, and so Tsuru excitedly made her way over to one of the teachers to show her the old scrap that she wanted to take home. 
Because all torn pages had to be approved by the teachers first, and ofcourse they always were, it’s just that it gave everyone a chance to see what pretty picture or interesting quote would be leaving the classroom for good that day.
Anyway, as she held the scrap in her paw, stretched out in front of her, the teacher nodded approvingly, that yes she may take that home. A couple of the other teachers glanced over their shoulders to see the picture and immediately raised their eyebrows and a few of the babies stopped in their tracks, startled, but Tsuru was already carefully putting the scrap in between her work book and into her bag.

When she got home that afternoon she went straight to her bedroom and stuck the picture above her bed so that she could see it every night before she fell asleep and first thing every morning just as she woke up. That way she would be reminded to always want it. And she smiled happily to herself.

Well, that night as mama was reading her bedtime story to her, she happened to glance up at the nearly naked man with the heavily tattooed arm above her daughter’s bed, and she gasped in astonishment – surely Tsuru was still too young to be interested in the opposite sex, and not even a hare at that. 
Though not being interested in hares was not really a problem, as there was always interspecies marriages and minglings going on with hares and other species, as that was what hares were like, but it must have been all the nakedness which surprised her mama and took her off guard.
After the story was finished mama looked up at the handsome man and said to her daughter that the new picture was very nice, and Tsuru immediately stifled her yawn, grinned excitedly and pronounced to mama that she wanted one of them too. 
Upon which mama smiled sweetly, stroked her daughters head and gave her a goodnight kiss.

Now that Tsuru is all grown up she did indeed surprise her mama by getting one of them. Though it was not a nearly naked handsome man with tattoos on his arm. 
It was instead a tattoo of a Japanese crane. Just like the one that the man had on his arm, flying across his bicep. 
She came home rather late one day rubbing her ankle, and looking a little sheepish and embarrassed, so mama asked if everything was alright, upon which Tsuru proudly revealed her very first tattoo to mama – a beautiful and artistic Japanese crane flying across her ankle. Ofcourse the fur had had to be shaved off and her skin was rather tender and pinky underneath, but the black of the ink stood out well and the tattooist had told her that when the fur grows back in, it would be thinner and shorter and that the black edged crane would still be visible.
Tsuru was very pleased with his handiwork and at the end she gave him a large wicker basket of freshly snipped meadow herbs and some tasty tubers she had dug up, as he had requested and they had agreed on the week before when she had stopped by his shop with her tatty little picture and unusual request. 
He told her to come back in a week’s time so that he could check her skin, and his work, and if need be, to shave some more of her fur off, and em, would it be possible to take some photos that he could put on his tattoo blog? because she was his very first ever hare.
Yes, ofcourse said Tsuru, she would be delighted and had a crazy thought to herself that perhaps a magazine would get in touch with her to put her on the front cover beside a very handsome nearly naked man with some tasteful tattoos? 
She let out a little sigh as she made her way home.

Tsuru is looking forward to sitting cosily on your armchair by the French windows with a view to the garden. Leave them ajar thanks as she will going out most days to visit her nieces and nephews. She’s still not a mother herself, just not found the time yet. But not that she’s concerned about that in the slightest as she is busy with her career as a model.

The day that she had gone back to the tattooist so he could take some snaps of her, he had a big surprise waiting for her and paired her up with a very good looking boy who had some pretty tatts. 
The photo-shoot was so much fun and had gone down so well, and Tsuru and the boy had gotten on great that he had ended up asking her out to dinner! 
Well, well, dinner had been delicious, as she had had the vegetarian option, plus all his salad too and they had talked tattoos all night long, plus he was really very taken with her. Pretty little hare or not. 
They did receive a few stares in the restaurant that evening but they were stares with smiles, which are always the nicest kind of stares.

And the very next day she was in for another surprise - a huge surprise. 
The tattooist had uploaded her pictures to his blog, and within minutes they had gone viral and she was now more famous than any other lagomorph in history, eclipsing Bugs Bunny, the Easter rabbit, the Hare on the Moon, Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit! (not that she was a rabbit, nor even a hare, but still..) and he had been inundated with calls and requests for more photo-shoots of the pretty little leveret!
Tsuru has had a few more tattoos done by him. She’s not really an adventurous kind though, and she did love the first crane that he did for her, so she ended up getting a few more of them flying across various parts of her body. 
Well, cranes do migrate and they do live in flocks so her flock just sort of grew and grew. But, my my, she does look so very beautiful indeed and the artistry is breath-taking. 
She has made front covers of all the most influential magazines ever – Time, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, not to mention all the tabloids and fashion ones as well. 
And she always has a very handsome dinner date every night, who incidentally always has a tattoo.

You are most welcome to come along to the photo-shoots with her if you’d like. They are so much fun and she has had some very novel settings. Her favourite so far has been the mad hatters tea party with Johnny Depp, hmmm, but then there was the one with James Bond in his fast car, that was thrilling, and hmmm, so was the one with Taylor Kitsch and her back on Mars.

She always needs a few helping hands to get her fur in order for the shoots, so if you’d like to come along and groom her too then that would be nice. 
And she is sure that you will be asked out to dinner by a handsome man afterwards. There are always handsome men around her now, and she is friends with all the famous ones, not that she is naming names, mind you. 
What do you mean you are the shy type and wouldn’t know what to say at dinner. You don’t need to say anything, just sit there looking pretty. That’s what she does and it works a treat. Though she does like to talk tattoo, so you could always brush up on your cranes and crosses and roses.




I just hope that everyone is flattered in the process, 

though I am not naming names, but regardless to say that nearly all the boys in the gym that I workout with have impressive tattoos

and over the last couple years I've seen, and admired, and appreciated them all

after all, I am an artist, and a tattoo is a beautiful expression of art
and I believe the wearer wears a little bit of their heart amongst all that ink 
and what is not to appreciate in such a tender expression?


and ofcourse the body that displays the tattoo is also a beautiful expression of art too 

Alex Minsky, US Marine and Afghanistan vet, above, is very impressive, and I particularly love his lower abdominal tattoo 'Don't Laugh' 


and if you are into tatts and baseball caps and roses and ....
*sigh*


or perhaps you are into the Guy Richie/English gent type instead? and his minimalist tatt?
*sigh again*

those 3 boys are all on my pinterest page, so credits in their links there


it's a little princess's birthday very soon
and currently, at the tender age of 8 and 11/12th she is way, way, way into 1D 



appreciating boys who may or may not have tatts already? who knows?
do they even have fur under their arms? and a 'Don't Laugh' tattoo? but would anyone be laughing?
anyway, as to tatts I wouldn't have a clue, and I don't think I have even heard one of their songs either... 

I'm a little bit out of touch at the moment, as my fav youtube song is...


(it's good for writing stories to)

still, I made her a cutesy Scottishy bag with her fav colours - blue and purple(ish)
and put in a bag of edible boys - oh okay then, 1D Love Hearts
and sent it off to Norway. Hopefully it will get there for the big day?
(she definitely doesn't read my blog, so no worries about spilling the beans here)


the majority of my hares all have 'tatts' on their coats
of beautiful does and handsome stags, of delicate roses and leaves...

what's not to like? coats to appreciate and flattering stories to make you smile

it's always nice to have a bit of body adornment that doesn't wash off in the rain, or sweat off in the gym ....


gawd! so over-rated all that body graffiti is all I can say
what's the point of having a tasty rose if you can't eat the bloody thing?

nuthin' nicer than a snow white coat, nuthin' nicer.....


so, a big thank you to my muses for inspiring my stories! 
I hope that you are perhaps not too shocked, and instead a little flattered?
xx

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Sexy Hot stuff! - a man's touch at The Leverets Nest

I go to my local cinema, Cineworld, every Orange Wednesday with my mum to catch the latest flick and I always enjoy the pre-movie trailers and the ads.

Lately it's been the new Diet Coke ad, with some lean dude mowing the lawn who gets wet and has to take his shirt off and ... you all know the story I'm sure...

and so I thought to myself - 

if coke-a-cola use sex to sell their brown sugary drinks, surely I can use a lil' bit of hot stuff to sell my hares huh?!


Well, I happen to workout 6 days a week in an excellent free weight gym with serious athletes and they spot for me when I am benching 60+kgs, or decline pressing 70kgs, and give me the best advice ever on my deadlifts, which were an easy 13 reps on 80kg last time (will be 90kg next week for sure)

anyway, you get the picture - they are all super nice to me


and so, one of the super-nicest ones kindly said yes to me, he would hold my hares and humour me, as I took snaps to spice up my etsy shop a bit :)

Baby hare Adair was so excited! 
his blue coat perfectly matched the rack and he was held as gently and tenderly as a newborn


and Baby hare Fergus was thrilled at being in the gym because his eyes are the colour of the walls and he wanted to meet my friends too, 
(he was about to win the arm wrestle but I missed the shot)

plus, Fergus' coat is slightly tatty with threads fraying as it was once the lining of a jacket, and the gym is also a bit careworn with it's chips and dents and all that - and Ferg loved that - and me too!


Adair and Ferg had a few words about who was the strongest baby, as they eyed the impressive arms they were held in
slightly leaner Ferg said appearances had nothing to do with it, just look at Annette, scrawny but strong,
and 
more robust Adair said - well, big weights means big muscles - just look at our new friend here


Baby hare Fighter was more than pleased because his dinosaur filled coat matched the cam pants and boots of his new pal, as they discussed the tastiest protein intake


Fighter said that he had only tried the occasional ear wig and ant that had crossed his path, after all he was a hare and hares are meant to be vegetarian
mind you, the ant was tasty he said, but he's not told anyone yet....


Mother hare Vortexa, on the left, and Mother hare Matrexa were so delighted to see inside my gym, 
and em, to be pressed tight against the chest of their special new friend
(the bench had some drool on it afterwards, so I made them wipe it up, as that's only gym protocol...)


Matrexa oohed at the huge weights, then spotted the mirror and started to groom her coat


but then her eye caught sight of the amazing tattoo on her new friends arm, and my, my she sure had some compliments to give him, 
because, she went on, did he know that her coat is from an upcycled tea towel that came from the Northern Territory in Australia where Annette grew up? and it's of an Aboriginal painting of a crocodile
very beautiful he said, and well - did you know that mine comes from the New Zealand Maori warriors?
oooooh sighed Matrexa, purring with delight


well what about my beautiful coat too, barked Vortexa, 
and she was about to make a big scene 
when she too received many flattering compliments about her markings and had her fur stroked attentively
much purring followed
(Vortexa is a gift for a very lovely lady in Texas, so won't be going into my etsy shop)

then finally when my new model's hand had nearly fallen off with all the patting and the hares were content 
I gave him the tiniest hare of the day - 


now you see me!

now you don't!

ha ha, isn't that the best ever hide-n-seek!

this is my Drive Safe with Baby Hare and the little hare was so happy to meet someone who shares the same great taste in fabrics!

and for such a tiny hare she kept a good conversation and wanted to know all about his wheels, what was the harepower, did it have mags, what was its zero to 60 and did it have ......
horsepower he corrected her, 
oh, blinked the tiny hare, pretending not to hear .....



then it was time for the ring wearing man to brush up on the rules of marriage with my postcard set
namely the postcard about giving during games time (perhaps it can be applied to monopoly or various card games, though personally, when playing those type of games I take no prisoners :)
'remember marriage is a game that must be played on a 50/50 basis - give and take - bear and forbear'

but ofcourse, tough men already know the roolz :) and have nothing to prove


so it was onto my Grey Hare Card next.
ready to ship and with an assortment of grey hares on the front, celebrating another year of your life, as you add yet another grey hair to your head....
and not necessarily another candle to an ever increasing cake circumference....


you must be joking Annette! - this is what you do outside the gym - cutting out hares for a living?
and I thought you had a serious job.....


... right, thank god that's over!
I'm thirsty after all that gym-bunny stuff
got anything for me to drink?

- and remember - real men drink real coke!

ha ha :)
thanks SO much to my awesome model!!!
yay - he's the best :)
and so much better than the diet coke dude